Assorted Thoughts

I have gotten ten hours of sleep total in the last four days. I don't wanna say that it's Brian's fault, but it totally is. Hank was on a great sleep schedule until Brian's coughing woke him up in the middle of the night, and now Hank has been awake from about 3-7am every night since. Now, I know it isn't Brian's fault that he is sick and has a bad cough, but I am just saying that my sleep deprivation is still his fault.

It will take me at least an hour just to lint roll the cat hair off my black clothes, of which I have many. I have been doing very well on my quest to add more non-black articles of colorful clothing to my wardrobe, however. I like being able to go to church and look like the other women, and not look like I am stopping by on my way to a funeral, or to wherever goth kids hang out these days. Basements, or parking lots, I think. Before I joined the church, all of my "appropriate " attire came from my previous jobs, most of which required uniformly black apparel. Now that I have gotten rid of my too-revealing clothes, it has been an interesting experience, trying to find modest clothes that aren't black or too expensive.

Cardigans and knee-length skirts were especially difficult to find. When Brian found out that cardigans are $20 each from Target, he practically died. Boys have it so easy.

Brian:"Why do you need it in three different colors?"
Me: "Because I don't want to be that weird kid who sits in the back wearing the same outfit every week, chewing on my hair and talking to myself."
Brian: "But I wear the same outfit every week to church."
Me: "It's not the same!"

Hank has started blowing raspberries. It is cute when he and Brian do it back and forth, but not so cute when it is five in the morning I have been trying to rock him to sleep for two hours and I think he has finally drifted off, and then I hear a little "pbffft", and then I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

No one told me how quickly baby fingernails grow. I have to cut those suckers twice a week!

I need to learn how to mend clothes. It takes me an hour to hand-sew a small hole shut on one of Brian's shirts. There must be an easier way to do this. Unfortunately, the sewing machine frightens and intimidates me. I need to work up the courage to learn how to use it. Having more free time would help, but let's be honest here. I use the baby as my excuse not to do scary things like learning to sew.

I had no idea how much water a small baby could displace in the tub just by kicking and splashing. I think my clothes got soaked. It was pretty funny, but next time I will sit on the inside of the shower curtain while giving him a bath, so that I don't have to mop up gallons of soapy water off the bathroom floor. I really hope that works.

I am giving up treats for Lent. That means candy, soda, juice, chips, cookies, cake, any sort of unhealthy snack item. Fruit and such is okay. I tried going two days without them and went a little crazy. So, wish me luck. If I can make all forty days, then hopefully I will have broken my sugar addiction. It probably doesn't help that I bought a million bags of discounted Valentine's candies at the store today. I have a problem.

We finally got a baby monitor, so I am slowly weaning myself away from needing to be in the same room with the baby at all times, for fear that he might wake up and find me not there and start crying and think I abondoned him and hate me. Call it first-time mom jitters. Anyway, I am working on it. It is a process, learning to trust that nothing bad will happen if I take my eyes off him for a few minutes. I am a very nervous new parent.

I need to give him a haircut.

It has been two weeks since we moved in here, but I am still not quite done unpacking. I have done it mostly by myself, because Brian doesn't know where I want things to go, and I am very particular about it. It is just so difficult to find time for it, especially with school and wrestling and taking care of the baby and not being able to do anything on the Sabbath and needing to sleep and eat at some point during each day.

My friend Claire is coming to visit again this weekend, while Brian is wrestling Regionals, to help me organize stuff and to see how Hank had doubled in size since the last time she saw him a few months ago. Hopefully by next week, I will be able to put up photos of the new place.

Brian is an amazing, supportive husband and a wonderful, involved father who is more than happy to spend time taking care of the baby while I get stuff done. He only complains as a joke (one that isn't funny), and even though it must be difficult for him to cuddle a screaming, hungry baby that wants his mama for two hours, Brian encourages me not to skip classes in order to be with the baby.

Hank is on the verge of being a crawler. He can push himself all the way up on his arms (for a short time anyway), and he can get his knees up, but he just hasn't put the two together yet. Soon, though. Exciting. He already is rolling around all over the place, though.

He loves to be in the walker because of the freedom and independence that he gets from being able to move around on his own. It will delay his walking independently though, because he thinks he can just lean in a direction without moving his feet first, and because it decreases his incentive to learn how to walk when he has that easy crutch. He does love.that thing though, and it certainly frees up time for me to do stuff, too, like homework and chores. Yay.

The new apartment is amazing, and I never want to live anywhere else. We will only be here until the end of August, though, and then we are leaving Ashland for good. It is nice finally to be so close to graduating. I have been in college for far too long. I just wish I was getting a degree in something I can actually use.

Hank will be six months old in four days. I can't believe how quickly this has happened, in retrospect. Of course, at the time, it feels like an eternity, and even now I can't remember life without him. Brian wants to celebrate by feeding Hank a steak and root beer. I think we should give him some applesauce. Hank would prefer not to eat baby foods at all, and hasn't really liked any of the flavors we have tried so far.