This is just to let people know what's gonna happen after the baby's born so that I don't have to keep answering the same questions. I think that these are reasonable policies on my part, and if you don't agree, I don't really care. This is the way it's gonna be, NO ONE gets exemptions or special passes from any of these rules. Just respect the boundaries that I've set for myself and my baby, and you and I won't have any problems.
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Hank is due to be born on Thursday the 11th. I will post a birth announcement on Facebook as soon as I can after the baby has been born, so until I do, please just assume that he hasn't been born yet and stop asking me if it's happened. Don't feel bad if you've asked me one time, but there have been some people who have been asking me almost every day if it's happened yet, and it's really annoying. Even if he's a week or two late, please don't ask me if he's been born yet. I promise that I'm not keeping the birth news a secret because I hate you or anything.
If I don't give you a personal phone call or text message letting you know that I'm going into labor, don't be offended, because I'm gonna be a little bit busy and there will be other things on my mind than notifying you. Pretty much everyone who has a Facebook account will just have to check my updates, because I won't be making a special effort to contact you. If you don't check Facebook that often, it's not my fault if you don't find out right away. If you don't have Facebook, I'll try to notify you somehow, but I can't promise anything.
Only my OB-GYN, hospital staff, and my husband will be in the delivery room with me, and I don't want anyone other than family members visiting me at the hospital.
I know some of you are very excited to see photos, and I will post pictures of the baby as soon as I can, so please don't keep asking for them. As I've said before, there will be other things taking up my time that are a higher priority than posting baby pictures on Facebook. It'll get done when it gets done, and constantly harassing me about it (like some of you did about ultrasound and pregnant belly pictures and asking what the baby's gender was every week for months before I could even find out) isn't going to speed up the process. There will not be video of the birth, because ewww.
I posted a notice on Facebook a month ago when I changed my phone number, so anyone who didn't already get the new number should ask me for it now if they plan to call or text me, otherwise I imagine that whoever got my old number will be very confused. Don't be offended if I don't respond to a text or phone call. I will be very busy, and might forget to get back to you. If I get a few minutes of free time, eating and sleeping will be more important to me than calling you back.
If you plan to stop by for a visit, please call first (I really hate surprise visits), and don't be offended if I'm asleep and can't socialize with you. I really can't stress enough how much I hate it when people show up on my doorstep unannounced. I will be keeping the ringer volume very low so that it doesn't wake the baby, so I might not notice that you called at all for a few days, so you should call me before you head over, or don't expect me to open the door.
Please wash your hands thoroughly and ask permission before touching the baby. I get pretty upset about people touching my belly without permission, so I'm anticipating that I might be a bit possessive about the baby, too. Best to err on the side of caution and don't assume that I'm going to be okay with you holding the baby, no matter how close a friendship we have. If I'm not, don't be offended because it's not personal, I'm just kind of crazy. No one is exempt from my crazy, just ask Brian.
Please don't visit us if you're sick or have been around sick people in the last few days, because the germs will still be on your clothes and hair. Newborn babies should not be exposed to those germs because their immune systems are still developing.
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We <3 crazy Avery.
ReplyDeleteThere is a girl at my work who is also pregnant and she is having a lot of the same problems. I don't know what it is about people who think that when you are going through a life-changing event that it automatically entitles them to be all up in your business.
ReplyDeleteI have, of course, never been pregnant, but I got married and everybody and their brother and their brother's best friend felt it was their right to tell me what I should do, when I should have kids (none of their business if I never do) and how we should run our household.
F those people. They need to stay out of other people's business. I love you Avery and you'll never get that from me, though I would very much like your new phone number and look forward to seeing some baby pictures whenever you get around to posting them :)